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Acknowledgments

The editors, Sandra H. Petrulionis and Noelle Baker, would like to acknowledge the support of the Ralph Waldo Emerson Fund, the Ralph Waldo Emerson Memorial Association, Pennsylvania State University, Altoona, Harvard University’s Houghton Library, and the National Endowment for the Humanities. Any views, findings, conclusions, or recommendations expressed in this edition do not necessarily reflect those of the NEH.

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underline()Malden 18061806

1806-12-26 underline()December 26 1806 . Never was the a date mandated issued from the hand of roy noalty more important than the above. It is related to days & ages beyond this sphere. It is the record of virtue—the beginning of a portion of the history of a soul—struggling with weakness & ignor noance and opposite appetites to the pure state of Heaven! God of infinite power & love aid the being before thee to honor thee & herself in this little history. Bless her with no common & ordinary portion of thy wisdom—all else is dust and ashes! This day so dark—so incumbered hath been filled—yes filled with devotion—zeal—patience & joy.

1806-12~-2727 Morn. The morning dawns with rapture on me— What was I a few weeks since? With what abhorrence I recall social duties w’h which led to weakness. The passions agitated me—but it is no more—the cold moon beams have drank it—the air—the light of the far distant orbs have scattered it—have purged my mind a cloud of wittnesses has beheld my divorcement from sense—my ascent from earth. Have seen me laugh at age & poverty & destitution. But this moment of transport must give place to humbler graver purer services

Night. an91.9“Little end of the horn.” Governed my temper.

1806-12~-2828. Sab. Sabbath  morn. It has been the employment of ages to account for moral & phisial physical evil in a world created by infinite benevolence. And it is by not unnatural nor impious. Were there no misteries in the “ways” of God, there would be no infinite Being. And finite existance would look forward without the nameless charms of hope & curioity curiosity . Freedom of will no—the inestimable gift of moral agency and capasity to obtain the favor of God must alone solve the dif- no ficulty & account for the origin of sin. That evil handwriting HM40b GTF3,SIcontinued BP2 speculation may conjure a thousand labyrnths is thetrehandwriting —so it may find in the construction of the earth a multitude of deformities—but the earth remains a witness of the power wisdom & goodness of God operating by general laws the benefit of the whole; and man as a religious & accountable creature a last- noing monument of the eminent goodness of his Maker. The defects of nature are the first & immutable lessons of futurity considering the world the creature of a good God. — they bespeake the order & extent of a progressive & diversified univerce. We are an inferior chain in the link of beings at present—governed in some measure by the nesisity of exterior causes, yet free to all the purposes of reward & punishment. To those who compre- nohend nothing beyond their senses who behold nothing of progress & endless diversity in the works of God find a easy soultion solution to every inexplicable feature in providence by the imputation of Adam’s sin. And that the first proginitors introduced the habit of sin is undoubtedly true. To those incapable of looking farther, and we are not obliged to look beyond (no plan could be more easily digested, than that of imputation. For my own trials, I can find nothing I wish altered—can contrive no state so favorable to, & preparatory for the pure joys of a Heaven than the pains & exertions of earth.

Eve one handwriting apparently trifling) habit it consequences—ask for handwriting virtue it worth? Think of God!!

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1806-12~-2929. Today saw my father & Sister Ripley. How unexp nopected! How calm the pleasur—how sweet it’s remembrance. She is a growing xian christian — Dreadfull eve. I sinned.

1806-12~-3030 Papa returned Erred a little—

1806-12~-3131. Closed the year cheerfully. 1807-01-01/1807-01-07Jan 1-7, 1807 Began it with the most elevated devotion—a moment and I made a foolish bargain, tho though I added to my estate yet I had rather be without it than to have descended.  1807-01~-022. Is it possible I sd should err so 2.241from warmth of feeling— 1807-01~-033. Worked. 1807-01~-044  sab. sabbath  eve. Fatigued beyond devotion—inrapturing duties—lessened the pains of the destitute & sick. Chh Church in the afternoon— thoroughly tho roughly awake to worship— I ask no more. 1807-01~-044 To give so much pleasur to beings whom I tho’t thought incapable of any is pleasant. It is with no comon measur of gra- notitude I behold servants & their children, the poor & dispised brighten as I approach. It was what I never calculated #RWE2.240thought —to benefit—to riot in the bestowment of the ““mite”” was all I considered—it’s consequent pleasures are dearer than all the joys of fancy. 1807-01~-055 What a morng. morning what a descent—angry at a poor old man because he was loath to let me have my money. Ridiculous. How did I urge it on my Father to do more for me—that every adventitious gift hitherto was trifling, I asked I needed I hungered for so much more. The uni- noverse fades before me I ask nothing but nearer con noformity to Him I love supremely. Angels & prince- nodoms—I press in imajanation nearer to the throne of my Priest my King and Saviour than you! The ric 2.242hig hest joys are those of communion. God may be 2.242better HM39b GTF3,SIIcontinued BP4 his own Almoner than I, if I feel vanity or the soil soil of littleness! There is an awfull—a sublime and unspeakable duty of self preservation in the con- nostitution of man—immortal man, who is to live with a holy God forever—before which all publick & social duties diminish (only as connected with this one infinite object) and perish with the dust when the earth is burnt. 1807-01~-077. After all that I sinned. But I’ll hope & struggle & hope & struggle Papa consents that I sd should sell the place. I teaed at Parson’s #RWE2.243took tea at the Parson’s . Never felt more depressed because I found marks of human na noture smale marks upon me. Oh grave grave when wilt thou open!

1807-01~-88. Dullish day but promises to end well— precous precious day for I retrace no error—remember with delight the figure of porcupine age—of my poor guest of no omission. Ages hence and this day will be splendid compared to the lively ones Take from me oh my Father health, knowledge food & home frendship & reptutation—only leave me in the full possesion of advancing virtue—conformity to t T hee. I love thee. I know it—and yet I am not every thing I sd should be—love Thee in all thy manifested perfections—respect those laws which I think thr o’ ow me at a distance from thy immediate agency, and bewilder my researches—if governed by general laws and my disasters to be retrived by no other method, I submit without a murmur. HM38 GTF3,SIII BP5

1807-01~-099. There is a faith in our character the most cheering w’h which amid discouraging events keeps us up. Tho’ Though I have sinned by the provacation I reced received sinned very much, passionatly yet I feel that my penitence and restitution is accepted that I shall get on in many respects better, that it spoke not the temper of my life but accident. Still my soul shrinks back at the retrospect & loathes life—a capasity to sin so badly— My God pity me. I want humility by nature & of late by habit. Ah the dismal story of Sir Balaam but too well paints the radical defects of human nature. Oh immense power of circumstances—give me absolute desti notution if that increase virtue. The most lasting & fervent desire on earth is to be placed among my acknowl acknowledg noed superiors in talent & virtue. How sd should I grow—how exult! Did they dispise me, I sd should associate with more zeal with God himself

1807-01~-1010. Positive overbalance of devotion virtue & pleasue. Read the most of the Dunciad. Enjoyed much higher the elegant sermon of Robinson.

1807-01~-1111 sab sabbath morn. I cannot but respect the conclusion of some sceptics when they rest on this conclusion that God exists and their own idintity. Thou existest oh Father of spirits and I exist! And here I find endless cause for exultation. Whether the material world be or appear is indifferent —whether those whom I can care or console be, or appear is of little importance while there is an abolute certainty of my virtue by means of these appearances. Thus in feeling one rests contented with these speculations; but when we trace it’s consequences, and find it 2.250subverts all rational proof of revelation, especially of the 2.248ministy of Christ, and of practical morality we must HM38b GTF3,SIIIcontinued BP6 expunge it with contempt. It is not like many errors which tho’ though they strive to cast us from our rock of safty in Jesus Christ, yet weaken not our hold on the immutable, the inexpressibly delightfull faith of a God—governing us by instruments of sense no way delusive—revealing himself by means real & tangible and connecting us with a uni- break(no)verse: filled with perciepient percipient bings beings of evey every   grade. gradient

Eve. Tranquil pleasure. Had I a Preacher that was alive! I planned a visit—erred again in tho’ts thoughts vain. This eve. alive to devotion. Ask of my father ages & ages of glory in beholding Him—what does such a request demand in my life? I pray for others—for to do them good but with more zeal that God would Himself do them good and give me to rejoice therin.— And I have ever rejoiced.

1807-01~-1616 The four past days wer cold beyond cerculation, and negative existence. If virtue thrivs no matter—those who would leave some vestige of thier footsteps—some labour of their hands—these must inev- noitably perish—but a history ingraved with that of MarnotrysMarnotyrs to virtue—with powers & princdoms—a his- notory that may be coeval with eternity is alone worthy the ambition of ransomed souls.

1807-01~-1919. The eveg. evening of the last day went to Lynn—too high spirits— Mr White dined here. Saturday went to Mr. Popkins tarried till 7 to my sorrow. Committed levity talking about the fashion. Erred foolishly after my return—yestrdy sab sabbath had more had not had handwriting 2.251read Eloisa HM36b GTF3,SIV BP7

1807-01~-2020. Last. night I spoke tow two sentences about that foolish place when Uncle Wait asked me to give money to Mrs B.  w’h which I most bitterly lament. Not because yy they were improper but they arose from anger. It is difficult when we have no kind of berrier barrier to command our feelings But this shall teach me. It humbles me beyond any thing I ever 2.252have met, to find myself for a moment af- nofected with hope fear or handwriting especially anger about interest—but I did overome overcome & return kindness for the repeated provocations I’ve had. What is it my Uncle has been the means of lessing lessening leasing my por noperty— Ridiculous to wound him for that. He was honestly seeking his own. But at last this very night the bargain is closed and I am delighted with my self—my dear self has done well— tho’ though I would not help on a bargain yet after effecting all Mrs. B. wished from the men I gave her 20 dollars in fu noture. Never did I so exult at a trifle. Happy beginng beginning of my bargain— tho’ though the sale of the place appears one #RWE2.253to me of the worst things for me or at this time.

1807-01~2121 Weary at times with objects so tedious to hear to see—oh the power of vision—the delicate power of the nerve w’h which re- noceives impressions from sounds If ever I am blest with a social life let the accent be gratefull. Could I at times be regaled with musick it would remind me that there are sounds— Shut up in this severe weather with carefull infirm afflicted age—it is won- noderfull my spirits—hopes I can have n2.254one 2.254Not a perspect prospect but 2.254is dark on earth, as to knowledge HM36 GTF3,SIVcontinued BP8 & joy from externals, but the perspect prospect of a dying bed reflects lustre on all the rest.

1807-01~-2222. The eve is fine but I dare not enjoy it. The moon & stars reproach me—because I had to do with mean fools sd should I take so much care to save a few dollars Never was I so much ashamed—did I say with what rapture I might handwriting dispose of them to the poor—pho, self preservation—dignity—confidence in the future—contempt of trifles—alass I am disgraced. Took a momentary revenge on age for wronging me

1807-01~-2323. Read Elosia —but stupid.

1807-01~-2424 A day of penitence—enjoyed more calm & rational enjoyt enjoyment than a fortnight of less exaction.

1807-01~-2525. sab sabbath  morn. God most holy I praise thee—created by thee a spirit—here is everlasting cause for joy all adventitious advantages are lost.

1807-01~-2626. Cold extra. extraordinary one error only.

1807-01~-282 7 8. A spirit, & capable of loving the Almighty—his name—his attributes, give me delight. Bless me even me oh my Father render me capable of higher enjoyment hereafter whether poverty labour ignorance & destitution continue to attend me, or independance knowledge & influence, either that will capasitate me for Heaven more ef nofectually.

1807-01~-2828 Is it possible that old man whom I have so long gratuitously served could serve injure me so? Well I was warm, too much so, tho’ though it was rather matter of specu lation & sentiment with the justice than 2.256anger. I still feel resentment,—to manage HM37b GTF3,SV BP9 it with gentleness is all my concern. If we cannot imi notate the Deity in his purity wisdom & glory, we can in his clemency & forbearance. How far these sd should operate against demonstrate acknowledge d guilt I know not. Sd Should I join in familiarity with such wd would it not lessen my abhorrence to guilt?? Sd Should I act from motives of selfish charity and forgive others that I may be forgiven— God for nobid.— a charity holier and purer than that I’ll practice. or none. What a singular preservation from sacreficing my property to chance? How truly how delightfull my gratitude to the justice? I wd would not have that accident recalled, tho’ though I might, it wd would be seem, do better. And I shall do better—this awful mo- noment w’h which divides the polluted past from the spotless, the tremedous future beholds me doing better: It is sacred to the confidence of faith & humiliation.

1807-01~-2929. I might, I ought to have done better. I have no ambition. But when oppressed with these objects w’h which limit my ap- noprehensions & chill my affections I enjoy the power of hope —that the time may hasten when I shall ripen more rapidly & be ready to depart with honor to myself and xianity christianity .

1807-01~-3030 I walked to Capt Dexters—sick—promised never to put that ring on.

1807-01~-3131. Ended miserably the month w’h which began so worldly. Consigned the day to sorrow—tooth ache—

1807~-02-01Feb. 1. sab sabbath  eve. One of the most gloomy days—confined to the fire side with noout devotion.

1807-02~-022. One single sarifice of just resentt resentment handwriting and I felt for that happy instant bindi ng HM37 GTF3,SVcontinued BP10 my self to the throne of the Author of mercy and truth. And God has in the infinitude of his goodnes obligated Himself to reward every sarifice to obidence obedience A creature can forgive and rward reward —but God renders himself in debt to do it thro’ through the riches of divine grace—a grace so rich & divine that cold & narrow xians christians cannot understand— they at- notribute his gifts to his arbitary elections; and not to those immutable laws of righteouness by which he chooses to act & to which he binds his creatures. Such is the nature of his gov government and the order of the univerce it ap- nopears. Still the elections of God are incontro- novertible. If we retrospect with awe & delight an incomprehensille incomprehensible eternity, election fastens on us intuitively. It was the choice of the Eternal that gave to the glowing Seraph his joys & to me my vile imprisonment. I adore Him—it was his will that gives my superiors to shine in wisdom freindship & ardent pursuits, while I pass my youth—it’s last traces in the verest veriest shades of ignorance and complete destitution of society. I praise Him, tho’ though when my 2.256strength of body faulters it is a trial not easily descibed HM35 GTF3,SXII BP11

1807-02~-055 Yesterday I past passed in devotion on account of a beloved and faulty—— The effect was to open invisible pros nopects on my own heart. Today I tasted all the agitations of friendship in seeing my dear White & dearer Sarah in letter’s from the estimable & amiable &c &c But so invincible are the laws of matter that a sluggishness gathering at my heart, for some time past, never left me. amid all my convulsions of joy. She is very dear to me.

1807-02~-066. I ask for those assistances which will will most rapidly develop my powers & culture my affections. May it be said that it is as well to ask for eter nonal life and endless glory as the free gift of God and for immediate possesion, as for all these heav noy roundabout means. True, all is a gift—exist- noence is a present full & unspeakable. But as God chooses means of accomplishing the grandest events we must act on that plan. And tho’ though I never wish for temptation, knowing my frailty, tho’ though I would not for the sake of a long life willingly repass the labours & dangers of that I’ve trod, yet I should not dare to accept of Heaven now on by my own choice; were the remainder of my life to be past passed in as dark a manner as formerly. Nor sd should I dare, were it lawfull to redeem a friend from death by my own ( tho’ though I have not a shadow of doubt of my salvation by the economy of grace) HM35b GTF3,SXIIcontinued BP12 unless I knew they were unprepared. Sweet as the prospect of dying with a name unsullied, and returning to God in the prime of life, yet in looking into an unknown & endless future there is an intuitive hope—a nameless expec notancy #RWE2.279expectation of increased happiness that bids us suf- nofer every thing than hazard the loss of any de nogree of glory—a capasity to enjoy the more immediate presence of the Deity—! Heavens what hazards may await a probationer #RWE2.279probation !?

1807-02~-077. Stupid my brother came with a Miss Win— possessed—did evey every thing—not marred #RWE2.280warned by his letter. Such a visit sits better on recollection than the turbulent ones.

1807-02~-088  sab sabbath  eve. Most tedious day & eveg evening .

1807-02~-099. Stupid rather

1807-02~-1010. Rode tol. tolerably 2.280talked enjoyed a simple scene.

1807-02~-1111 an573.44 Esqr Esquire Green came, enjoyed converse. Went to Parsons a delightfull walk—lost every impression by cold hearts—the sickly frost niped all my pleasurs. But what was truly disastrous got rid of their visiting me ra- nother unfairly.

1807-02~-1212. There is a sweet & inestimable repose like sadness, but mine is rather heavir heavier than I could wish. Could a moments mirth or recr2.281ea notion stir my blood I sd should like it. The sadness of my approaching employment would be lightened. The same disastrous objects which are baubles to a light heart, add to the weight of a heavy 2.281one. handwriting HM34 GTF3,SVI BP13

18071807

Newyport 1807-02-18Feb. 18. 1807 I came here yesterday thro’ through  Beverly where I tarried with Mr White. Mercifull God, what a scene of care labour & grief do I find myself in. Thou bowest me down. I adore & love thee. I commit to thee the inter noests of my health & sanctification—the interests of my departing Sister—mercifull Father—and the children —! How much I need of thee—how much I expect from thee. I beginn a new life—free—oh mecifil merciful God—from levity, pride flattery, folly & weakness. Today I remember none—but a depression—and who beholds this scene without grief—they must be stones.

1807-02~-1919. A day of freedom from error &c.

1807-02~-2020. Alass.

1807-02~-2121. Devotion & pleasure.

1807-02~-2222. sab sabbath . Worshiped without ardor past passed the eve. with Miss B. capable of anger at a trifle. Lost I fear on the whole—mean pleasures & pains.

1807-02~-2323. Morn. If strenght of importunity at view of my moral miseries, if pressing on the promises & grandeur of God, inlarge & sanctify I must suceed. I urge my arguments— I despise all his gifts if He does not communicate His sanctifying influence to my spirit. There will aggrandise—if He withholds, & I must continue to use the mean efforts which have so often been difiled with weakness—well—the lowest offices I have welcomed— Yet oh God—this tardy progress—Ifif a useless uninteresting object to others let me but preserve my purity & sense of grand handwriting HM34b GTF3,SVIcontinued BP14

1807-02~-27 27. That very hour of the 1807-02~-2323 I was angry and impatient with my sick charge— But I veiw not this as others do— When I am sick I hope to be indulged in no impro- noper conduct. Still I felt & did wrong had she been well. 1807-02~-2424 was 1807-02~-25& 25 is forgotten. 1807-02~-2525 was most precious when I went to bed—so was yesterday— tho though tedious to induer endure . So is today—dolerous & heavy at heart as confinement without exertion is depressing. But I adore & love God no—and every dark path is welcome. I rejoice that others are in health & prosperity. The personal concens concerns of my—I leave most confidently with God—were they brighter I t hey would be brighter—and—the general laws of nature which are the appointments of God would operate on so yeilding a subject as myself. But whe- no ther I should be in reality happier?—as—an259.1035worth conscious worth should absolutely reign & other joys ask leave

1807~-03-03March. 3 The cause of order of truth are the cause of God—so is gentleness—contempt of trifles, —then, saving truth, I have defiled the univerce God most holy let me tremble—in my best moments I ask as the richest gift—a temper awed and contrite 1807-02~-2828 I erred— 1807-03~-01 1t First followed low— 1807-03~-022 at night unlovely & shandwriting of this morng morning . I who would fear & hope nothing beneath the favor of God have expressed anger at being in handwriting handwriting ded.— Vanity to— Let this day be ask handwriting

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1807-03~-04 4. Walked yesterday after such a resolution—to benefit a friend in shoping— Heavens! How minute the benefit—and how terrible the consequences—sport with a resolution made in favor of advancement! Mr P. visited & prayed with— lost devotion—injured the feelings of the sick and the well. Lost temper. I bend beneathe the terror of retrospect of late months. Oh God I love thee—lay hold of thy strenght—& yet oppose thy designs of love and mercy towards me. Were full capasity of sin—moral agency not put to the sarced sacred uses of immortality! God knows I never intended to impose on Him nor others—yet I may deceive others. Want of charity—how painfull— I need humility—that most firmly places me at my most revered Masters feet where I do most love—obedience raises me by his hand to walk on the waves with him —charity— meriful merciful Power) gives me to lean on him next

1807-03~-055. Papa came last eve— good day till night I sinned— Where is my penitence. 1807-03~-066 Well till eve— govened governed my temper—most delightfull frame more than last—ah could I retrive it.— but social life, tho’ though on religion, marred it.

1807-03~-066 Well till I painted a defect

1807-03~-077. Sat. eve. Most rich devotions but marred by vain tho’ts thoughts today. How is it possible that repeated resolutions can be so trifled with. I sport like a fool with my price Have mercy upon me oh God of mercy! I will begin to do better— Heavens, when I should hav e handwriting HM33b GTF3,SVIIcontinued BP16

1807-03~-088. Trifled with a few moments and lost devotions—lost perhaps the succeeding day by a cold—awfull possibili- noty. Had a tooth out in the eveg evening . Mr White  bro’t brought good news.

1807-03~-1010. Devotional forenoon—painfull afternoon, but lost no ground.

1807-03~-1111 Washing day & fatigue—ended most happily remote from all human influence.

1807-03~-1212 Noon. What a day—so sacred—penitent for my past trifling— I swear in the name of Him who is my Mediator to renounce every pleasure & connection which wd would interrupet my communion—marr the grandeur of my prospects—and defile the purity of the xian christian light. That character must be misguided who professing Christ is not humble.

Night most dolerous day erred from—& suffered from the most unpardonable of all causes—human influence— —descended to be hurt—yes, I never suffer from human causes, any injury to my feelings for the persent present , but I must have crept, whe re n 2.260when, had I been all I might & ought—I should have soared like the eagle & basked in the rays of light joy & serenity.

1807-03~-1313. Heavens— noborne on the full tide of existence—one fatal mo- noment levelled me with ordinary life— How must my enymy have exalted over a weight in the scale of deformity—it was mere levity & littleness. Surrounded in every instant of my journey by little means—less virtues & less vices—oh! Oh! till then what a day! tho’ though smale it made way for greater.

1807-03~-1414 What a day of sucess—and tormented with error after all—broke resoluteon. I might have done better tho’ though  whatt I erred from weak- noness not principle. We talk of grace—but what grace like that wh ich saves us by sanctifying our powers by inveterat HM32 GTF3,SVIII BP17 ate habits of obedience. Grace is not powerfull in principle if not apparent in habit.

1807-03~-1515  sab. sabbath  noon. I have been weake for many moments. God most holy I plead thy promises— I bring the arguments of my misery no—do more for me—crushed by exteriors—appear for my spirit—if I cannot serve thee—love thee and fear thee I do not wish for any mode of existence. If I cannot glorify thee in life let me die to honor thee die and perceive thee—know order & forever & un- noceasingly obey it. Perhaps my pride suffers—perhaps were I larger these failures would not pain me so— While mortal I shall sin— I do not wish to be other than human—for then I sd should be without #RWE2B.264out of the pale of xianity christianity —blessed province w’h which binds the redeemed nearer the throne of the Creator! Perhaps, here Paul gloried in infirmity.

1807-03~-1616— Good but for dinner & tea—lost defiled the temple of the divine Spirit!

Sab. Sabbath  noon. This The four last days—gained & lost alternately—forgot the claims of others—recovered them— Thursday H—h had a most distressing turn—possessed myself after a moment with great success— What a humbling scene was her appearance—left her not thro’ through night, Mrs Hay watched. How delightfull is it to depart—to be where we behold the divine govt government more clearly. I envy almost her pain & distress—they are the corrections of God ere He embraces his chosen! How much I lot #RWE2.265allot on this scene! I feel easy in mind I commit my courshandwriting 2.265cares HM32b GTF3,SVIIIcontinued BP18

Eve Mercifull God! what is the death of a sister or all the friends I have compared to of- nofending Thee, to possessing a principle of disobedience —of unlovliness—of smalness—of vanity—of persump- notion—all my cares & worldly interests vanish— Merci nofull God, where art Thou when I am greedy of social life—afflict me, crush me into the lowest ca- novern of the earth but perserve preserve me from defiling my spirit

1807-03~-2727. I said to White the pardon of one’s sins was a foundation petition—it was nothing without other gifts— God keep me from persump- notion— I talk of honors—but they are those of gift—the love of God and a full conformity to his will whether I labour or suffer. Power & influence I despise—but the honor that com noeth from God —his favor his loving kindnesses I covet as the only gifts worthy of existence— Yet each day each hour I offend against the grandeur of my calling, & reason, & sentiment. Talked about a chicken in warmth because another was in an arror error . Dear Hannah. how delightfull, & profit- noable will be her change—penitent & hoping in the mercy of God—her case is sure. I am not so much affected as perhaps I ought. I respect the bonds 2.268laws of nature but must not affect their influence HM31 GTF3,SIX BP19 there was no trial of them as I weakly expect I cannot easily forget the tranquility of the lowseer mediumnun #RWE2.268well In the whole perhaps no feeling, like those of indifference, & superiorty to human influence is more happifying in life I I never remember to have had to do so much with my heart I lie low— I seffer suffer .

1807-04~-1212  sab sabbath  eve Worshiped rather gloom noily. This eve I beginn to be awake— I have use sai d words only of late— I now fear my backsliding has been more dangerous & deeper than I was awear aware of. Oh silent retirement! It is a duty to aim at and to arive at full persuasion of divine favor; yet at the same time and committant concomitant   sd should exist an habitual fear of sin—a constant degree of anxiety if all be done—and attained. Thees These I have sported.— Oh God appear for me at this time of destitution & guilt—of doubt and perplexity! Any thing any speedy death rather than falling short of any measuer of grace intend noed for me—or favor—or disgrace to come on me. First I must set about the distruction of sin, in tho’t thought word & deed. One indulged and all is lost Heaven is forfeited and everlasting consequences follow. Day filled with dilligence—but trifled with fancy. What dangerous infatuation

1807-04~-1313. Rode to Medford. Day of unusual uselessness & gloom—handwriting HM31b GTF3,SIXcontinued BP20

1807-04~-1414 Company. weak to interest them. Gratefull to God this eve. what of this holy heavenly exercise if all has not been done that ought that might. There is no apolygy if I do not achieve hights in piety—for I love it—in benevolence for I am goodnatured—in humility for I am culpable. Fool talked as if I cared about my gown merely to speake to that weeke woman— Out of benevolence it will not do to injure the cause of truth. In sympathy for others I oftn often speake the language of the world

1807-04~-1515. Rich retirements. With what avidity have I en- notered into the scriptures. Called by the will of God & sanctified! The doctrine of election as far as we have to do with it sd should induce the holiest #RWE2.272holier zeal gratitude & conscration consecration .. In walking today I sinned by worldly tho’ts thoughts .

Night. It is an awfull symptom if we cannot in the presence of God pro- nomise to renounce every indulgence of eating, sleep dress, recreation, reading study & frendshp which appears suspicious! Ah, what awfull hazards attend us e’re we enter on our rest. The only and happiest way to be rid of fears and a thou HM30 GTF3,SX BP21 thousand perplexing calculations is to ascend at once —to gain deep impresions of the persence of God the awfull responsibity of man & the granduer & reality of future glory. Humility once deeply imbibed and the heart will be secured even if the appearance should be gracefull. Whther Whether a wish to appear gracefull—or rather rich agrea noble to every eye is suspicious or not I dare not pronounce and reject at a time when things may appear in a wrong direction. It seems evident that society sd should be sometimes entered—not to dis nogust refined people—appearances & manners must be agreable.

1807-04~-1616 I groan with anguish of #RWE2.274for the passionate the worldly the weak the disgracefull past with discouragement at the present—with entiee entire discouragement of every thing to gain—to acquire to enjoy. Yes and all I intend is to remembur constantly that I am nothing—do nothing—feel nothing— deserve #RWE2.274desire nothing—but then even now as the essence of faith my death would be most rich—full of hope — God is the same— I adore Him for the rapture of the Arch Angel and the bliss of my neighbour And I promise in the strenght of my Him who is intimately related to me that my life henceforth sha ll be a mirror of purity meekness & charity! HM30b GTF3,SXcontinued BP22

1807-04~-1717 Pain prevaild—cause low health—effort of walk noing #RWE2.275working & enjoyed it—went to the grave yard. Unable to pray—bowels swell— God is here

1807-04~-1818 A day of payer prayer & humiliation—unable to attend—or with what de- nolight would I have past passed the day in tears & penitence

1807-04~-1919  sab. sabbath  eve. Enabled to attend with some degree of zeal to publick worship. Begun a race whose hazards bring grains from my heart. What have I dared to do by my sporting—my formality no—my contempt of other’s failings—my persumption perhaps in religious hope—. A humble gentle spirit is all I ask— I seek it in preference to the joys of Angels—as a nessecary temper for my probationary state. Oh, never could any one who had my dangers wish eagerly for life or prosperity. I am certain some vigorous measures must be taken with my diseased soul— More prayer more zeal & constant vigilance. One error of ri- nodiculing I hate & promise better.

1807-04~-2626 There must not one day go without some sacrifie labour or char- noity, or instance of strenghtening some one virtue. In retrospecting I find the cause of my backsliding to have been oftener from a relaxed state of the mind—a wesh wish to amuse inliven or instruct has led me to social intercource. Now I da HM29 GTF3,SXI BP23 dare ( tho’ though trembling) to resolve to allow now moe more this relaxed state of mind—it is of a kind to be abhorred like that dropsical disorder which over- noruns in weeak & good feelings—communicative &c &c and much more painfull as sterility is than suppleness. Ah, nothing but one great object aimed at will extirpate this herd of swine—that of fellowship with the presence of God. In this pursuit—in this acquisition—will die away every mean & sinister pursuit—and even the miseris miseries of former disgrace.

Night—one sacrifice? none appeared. One effort—as many as could be made with a diseased stomach perhaps. Any self denial? A little silence. Oh I will now do a trifle however remote

1807-04~-2121. Morn. How rich the depths of divine love displayed in the econymy of the gospel And how simple and grand! Yes, behold a perfect Being—consider in the slightest manner his phicical physical & moral perfections —and it is the depravity of our hearts. the mean noness of our vertues themselves—and how grand and simple is the idea of a Mediator! And the truth that no one virtue was ever perfected by man is a wonderfully stronge proof in favor of a Medium thro’ through whom man can be united to the infinitely perfect God. In view of this provision HM29b GTF3,SXIcontinued BP24 I cast my polluted disordered soul into the arms of divine love

1807-04~-2222 Perfect morning till noon recevd received F. H. & P. Cook—wrote to Sarah—visited Mrs Odinn.— No sattisfaction since 12 ’oclk o’clock —effort, self denial as far as called—walk without vain tho’ts thoughts .

1807-04~-2323 Morn At a nearer review of yesterday I abhorr it after 12. I repent of yesterday. Littleness meanness, for one in League with God. Henceforth the picture I’ll image shall be girded loins a bright lamp fervent devotions. My condition in life is singular, & p resses laces me on the throne of my Master with peculiar strenght. My future life shall represent some prominent featuers of my Examplar. Oh God if I do not grow, cover me with his blood and take me to thyself. It is my duty (however it may be at times averse to my inclination) to make this prayer) if I love God and estimate fu- noture glory—it is the very essence of glory to make no compromise with it’s negative

Night No thots thoughts indulged—and not a deed. Exertion & a good degree of vigilance in my work. The only way to im- noprove in reverential devotions is to maintain a liv noly state of the spirit. How slothfull how criminal have I been. of late months!

1807-04~-2424. Most dolerous thro’ through inability to be devout. Penitent & faultless. Bless God. HM28 GTF3,SXIII BP25 handwriting 18071807 ennui

1807-02~-1414. I groan with ennui. I am not well and my mind cannot operate.. Mr White slept here last night— I go to NP. Poor Sister H. is going! Mercifull God pity us.

I returned the 1807~-04-1111 of Ap April & in this MMS manuscript is inserted some pages of the history of this time to this day 1807~-04-252 5 4 of Ap April . Pages ever to be remembered with anguish as mean & imper nofect—but on some too what awfull resolutionsToday spent in much intreaty for pardon & mercy for the new, the humble, the zealous, ardent life I am commecing commencing . Yes evey every thing of late years seems slothfull & indevout to what I would be. My life resemblant of the Lord of Glory! Mercifull God pardon me and bless me with me with the elictions elections of thy love that I may attain eminence in humility —& be forever a trophy of thy love.

1807-04~-2525 Morn. dont be fool enough my soul to regret sore eyes These sentences before your mind and bid defiance to sense & knowledge. God is here. I must exist shortly in other modes. I am im no mortal. If granduer and every virtue dont follow, it is because I am stupid

[1807?-05?-04,1807?-05?-05,1807?-05?-08]May low5 low4 medium8 I came here yesterday from Boston where I was unsuddenly called time enough to close the eyes of John Clarke. The scene was in- HM28bno GTF3,SXIIInocontinued BP26no teresting—he died at the age of 7 with more ideas of religion and more appearance of mind than many grown persons. The grief which the secne scene caused my brother & sister and the tears of the relatives bro’t brought no symptom of grief into my appearance. The loss of one whose constitu notion was like his was no subject of regret. And Oh, how useless the tears of nature at a scene so unimportant compared to those which constantly agitate the moral system! True I felt interested and smiled to see him depart so consciously. I tarri tarried 10 days— Good God! my soul is bowed down and crushed— I erred—folly vanity impatient indig- nonation had thier turns—at first—but I became reflective and took less interest in what past passed . And I did fail; after a fortnight of watching fasting and every holy charity. I faild. It will imbitter memory. Tho’ Though the tnor tenor of my time was deevoted —yet at moments I fail’d

1807-05~-99. A day most de- nocidedly painfull & disappointed. Destined to devoton devotion humiliation &c— Health forbad wakefullness—dissi- nopated & stupid. Mr Rogers called to my mortif mortification indent()I am seeking great things but with littl e ardor. I dont know how but I feel at times my existence so smale and so swallowed up in the divine agency and will that I am not sen - no sible of any distinct desires. Every thing seems HM27 GTF3,SXIV BP27 so trivial compared to death that I lose my selectio non of objects at moments. Is there so weake a creature!

1807-05~-1010  sab sabbath  Morn. Never so sick a day of the kind— noworshiped in pain Mr Bulk. E. & wife sleep here

1807-05~-1111. Wasted & enjoyed ‘p a day. Vain tho’ts thoughts —low devotions—nothing gaind but hope. I am stupid— Oh & forget my new resolves.

1807-05~-1212. Most painfull afternoon obliged to read a novel— Seem to lose instead of gaining— An hour of tranquil converse with death and heereafter has set me to rights.

1807-05~-1818 Since the 1807-05~-1212 never were more dolerous days passed by a xian christian Ague—took physick laid abed—perspired & revived. Head Heard Dr Osgood preach yesterday afternoon & rose for a few moments Slept, I greve grieve , for the last time in the old house. Came handwriting Cocd—and unexpectedly the sensations of life and hope of devotion and happiness retured returned . I can scarcly realise so great a change.

pre()“Proposition as a man grows in goodness the love of God will expand—the more God is loved the more benefichandwriting will the individual become; the only firm & lasting foun nodation of benevolence. The sense of the divine presence may be realised, fixed in the mind, & embodied in the heart; & when thus bro’t brought as it were, into contact with the tho’ts thoughts & sensations, who can doubt the salutary influence it mushandwriting have on the benevolent affections” Butler If a man love me &—a xian christian turns all his attention to render his duties just, complete, beautifull & strongly expressive of the inward esteem from w’h which they flow; and he endeavours to give his morality a refinement & delicacy suited to the nature of that grand & noble virtue from w’h which it proceeds. HM27b GTF3,SXIVcontinued BP28 How intirely independant on circumstances and frindship in it’s ordinary uses, are these precious moments of inexplicable happiness, but never of devotion

1807-05~-1919 Mrs Thoreau came—enjoyed too much surprise, pleasure & hope from seeing her, consistent with my profession & prospects I never realised dying more than this night—and my confidence is unshaken but I would rejoice. If the strong & noble mind of an heathen often rejoiced—how ignoble, how stupid, how dead to glory must I be! I fear no sen- notence from my Judge—for He can pronounce none but I shall feel to be right— I cannot depart from God, for his presence is universal and in that I feel secure. He made yonder stars and he made me.

1807-05~-2020. I walked to Parson's— Quite engaged in taking care of the Doctor. Most desultory tedious day.

1807-05~-2121 Set apart for anguish unremitting. Wd Would I could have felt it—but have not been so free from ennui this fortnight. I leave my petition for pardon & grace with God. Thy will for my life and my death, my time & eternity—my graces and the pardon of my guilt. Do all for me according to the propitiousness of thy nature and the extent of thy love.

1807-05~-2222 All comfortable. constant reading. But whatever I read or think I have no cause to value myself handwriting My body incites pity and many actions of my mind abhorrence—my hope for here and hereafter is in God. I should exult in God. The sight of the Heavens transport me. It is natural to exult in such an Author.

Night. It is the part of a brave mind to bear up and oppose its’ strenght against those worst of evils, those which it has bro’t brought on itself—how much more then handwriting handwriting the part of faith to hope.

Cross-written vertically in the middle of the page in darker ink.

St. Stephen’s, or Boxing, Day is traditionally celebrated on December 26 in Great Britain and much of Europe, but the significance of this date in this passage seems personal. On this day after Christmas, MME begins a new Almanack, “the record of virtue…the history of a soul.” “Hand of royalty” may allude to 1 Peter 2:9, in which Christians are deemed royal: “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.” But more likely, perhaps, is that MME suggests that these Almanacks, the written record of a self-educated American woman, are as significant as any royal decree.

MME alludes to Genesis 18:27: “And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord, which am but dust and ashes.”

MME alludes to Hebrews 12:1: “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.”

“Little end of the horn” is a colloquialism meaning “when a ridiculously small effect has been produced after great effort and much boasting”  Bartlett_Dictionary_Americanisms4 Dictionary of Americanisms: A Glossary of Words and Phrases, Usually Regarded as Peculiar to the United States Bartlett, mDictionary Bartlett John Russell Bartlett and Welford New York 1848 cit pp403 .

MME may allude to many biblical verses that reference the “ways” of God. See, for example, Job 49:19 and Isaiah 55:8-9. She may also have in mind Alexander Pope’s Essay on Man, which includes the lines “Laugh where we must, be candid where we can; / But vindicate the ways of God to Man”; or to John Milton’s Paradise Lost, which includes a similar phrase in book one: “I may assert eternal Providence, / And “justify the ways of God to men” Pope_Essay112 Essay on Man, in Four Epistles Pope Alexander Bowles William Lisle Works of Alexander Pope, Esq., in Verse and Prose. . . Pope, aEssay on Man page1-194 J. Johnson London 1806 10 vols. vol3 pp11941–194 cit pp14 Milton_Paradise66 Paradise Lost. A Poem, in Twelve Books; with a Biographical and Critical Account of the Author and His Writings Milton, mParadise Lost Milton John Mathew Carey Washington and Philadelphia 1801 cit pp2 .

MME may be commonplacing on these Almanack pages, but research has not located any definite sources for this lengthy discussion of various concepts relating to Christian theology.

Interlined with a caret in darker ink; possibly in non-authorial hand.

MME refers often in this Almanack to a property settlement of the Malden estate of her paternal grandmother, also named Mary Moody Emerson, which included a home and three acres, in which MME lived with her aunt and uncle Ruth and Nathan Sargent. In 1796, at age twenty-one, MME inherited a parcel of this property (accounts differ on the size of this portion) and then leased it to the Sargents for the duration of Ruth’s life, so that the couple continued to reside there with her. In December 1801, MME sold one-sixth of the property for one hundred and fifty dollars to Samuel Wait, who married Ruth Sargent the following month, Nathan Sargent having died in 1798. In 1807, Wait and MME sold the estate for three thousand dollars to Samuel Tufts, three-fifths of which sum ($1,800) were MME’s proceeds from the sale. An added component of this transaction is that Ruth’s sister, Rebecca Emerson Brintnall, whom MME likely refers to as “Mrs. B.” in this Almanack and who also lived in the Malden home, had for the consideration of one dollar in December 1801 purchased from MME and Silas Moody the rights to “the sixth part of all the real estate … (viz) the southwest chamber with a privilidge [sic] in the cellar, garret, yard, and pump, with full liberty of passing to and from said premises, also the east part or half of the garden front of the house as the fence now stands” Simmons_SL130 Selected Letters of Mary Moody Emerson Simmons, mSelected Letters Emerson Mary Moody Simmons Nancy Craig University of Georgia Press Athens 1993 cit pp4-5 ; Corey_History24 History of Malden, Massachusetts: 1633-1785 Corey, mHistory Corey Deloraine Pendre Malden 1899 cit pp648-49 ; Massachusetts_Registry61 Registry of Deeds, Middlesex County South mRegistry of Deeds State Massachusetts Office of the Secretary of cit book169 pp446-47 . MME’s reference to a twenty dollar gift to “Mrs. B.” may indicate a small payment to this aunt as consideration for her small share of the property settlement. Concord historian George Tolman characterizes MME as “having lost her temper” over the terms of the sale, “as if she had been defrauded,” an exaggeration of the mixed sentiments she expresses on the subject in this Almanack. In Tolman’s view, MME “got more of the purchase money than she was entitled to,” and he blames MME’s “utter ignorance of business methods” and “curiously distorted notions of the matter of finance and business” as the reasons for (in his view) her injured feelings Tolman_MME141 Mary Moody Emerson Tolman, mMary Moody Emerson Tolman George Privately printed by Edward Waldo Forbes 1929 cit pp5-6 . Middlesex County property records reveal simply the details of the transactions themselves, i.e., the parties and sums involved and the dates of these transactions. Additional research has not shed light on MME’s emotions about the sale at this time, nor do they confirm Tolman’s conclusions.

MME refers often in this Almanack to a property settlement of the Malden estate of her paternal grandmother, also named Mary Moody Emerson, which included a home and three acres, in which MME lived with her aunt and uncle Ruth and Nathan Sargent. In 1796, at age twenty-one, MME inherited a parcel of this property (accounts differ on the size of this portion) and then leased it to the Sargents for the duration of Ruth’s life, so that the couple continued to reside there with her. In December 1801, MME sold one-sixth of the property for one hundred and fifty dollars to Samuel Wait, who married Ruth Sargent the following month, Nathan Sargent having died in 1798. In 1807, Wait and MME sold the estate for three thousand dollars to Samuel Tufts, three-fifths of which sum ($1,800) were MME’s proceeds from the sale. An added component of this transaction is that Ruth’s sister, Rebecca Emerson Brintnall, whom MME likely refers to as “Mrs. B.” in this Almanack and who also lived in the Malden home, had for the consideration of one dollar in December 1801 purchased from MME and Silas Moody the rights to “the sixth part of all the real estate … (viz) the southwest chamber with a privilidge [sic] in the cellar, garret, yard, and pump, with full liberty of passing to and from said premises, also the east part or half of the garden front of the house as the fence now stands” Simmons_SL130 Selected Letters of Mary Moody Emerson Simmons, mSelected Letters Emerson Mary Moody Simmons Nancy Craig University of Georgia Press Athens 1993 cit pp4-5 ; Corey_History24 History of Malden, Massachusetts: 1633-1785 Corey, mHistory Corey Deloraine Pendre Malden 1899 cit pp648-49 ; Massachusetts_Registry61 Registry of Deeds, Middlesex County South mRegistry of Deeds State Massachusetts Office of the Secretary of cit book169 pp446-47 . MME’s reference to a twenty dollar gift to “Mrs. B.” may indicate a small payment to this aunt as consideration for her small share of the property settlement. Concord historian George Tolman characterizes MME as “having lost her temper” over the terms of the sale, “as if she had been defrauded,” an exaggeration of the mixed sentiments she expresses on the subject in this Almanack. In Tolman’s view, MME “got more of the purchase money than she was entitled to,” and he blames MME’s “utter ignorance of business methods” and “curiously distorted notions of the matter of finance and business” as the reasons for (in his view) her injured feelings Tolman_MME141 Mary Moody Emerson Tolman, mMary Moody Emerson Tolman George Privately printed by Edward Waldo Forbes 1929 cit pp5-6 . Middlesex County property records reveal simply the details of the transactions themselves, i.e., the parties and sums involved and the dates of these transactions. Additional research has not shed light on MME’s emotions about the sale at this time, nor do they confirm Tolman’s conclusions.

MME refers often in this Almanack to a property settlement of the Malden estate of her paternal grandmother, also named Mary Moody Emerson, which included a home and three acres, in which MME lived with her aunt and uncle Ruth and Nathan Sargent. In 1796, at age twenty-one, MME inherited a parcel of this property (accounts differ on the size of this portion) and then leased it to the Sargents for the duration of Ruth’s life, so that the couple continued to reside there with her. In December 1801, MME sold one-sixth of the property for one hundred and fifty dollars to Samuel Wait, who married Ruth Sargent the following month, Nathan Sargent having died in 1798. In 1807, Wait and MME sold the estate for three thousand dollars to Samuel Tufts, three-fifths of which sum ($1,800) were MME’s proceeds from the sale. An added component of this transaction is that Ruth’s sister, Rebecca Emerson Brintnall, whom MME likely refers to as “Mrs. B.” in this Almanack and who also lived in the Malden home, had for the consideration of one dollar in December 1801 purchased from MME and Silas Moody the rights to “the sixth part of all the real estate … (viz) the southwest chamber with a privilidge [sic] in the cellar, garret, yard, and pump, with full liberty of passing to and from said premises, also the east part or half of the garden front of the house as the fence now stands” Simmons_SL130 Selected Letters of Mary Moody Emerson Simmons, mSelected Letters Emerson Mary Moody Simmons Nancy Craig University of Georgia Press Athens 1993 cit pp4-5 ; Corey_History24 History of Malden, Massachusetts: 1633-1785 Corey, mHistory Corey Deloraine Pendre Malden 1899 cit pp648-49 ; Massachusetts_Registry61 Registry of Deeds, Middlesex County South mRegistry of Deeds State Massachusetts Office of the Secretary of cit book169 pp446-47 . MME’s reference to a twenty dollar gift to “Mrs. B.” may indicate a small payment to this aunt as consideration for her small share of the property settlement. Concord historian George Tolman characterizes MME as “having lost her temper” over the terms of the sale, “as if she had been defrauded,” an exaggeration of the mixed sentiments she expresses on the subject in this Almanack. In Tolman’s view, MME “got more of the purchase money than she was entitled to,” and he blames MME’s “utter ignorance of business methods” and “curiously distorted notions of the matter of finance and business” as the reasons for (in his view) her injured feelings Tolman_MME141 Mary Moody Emerson Tolman, mMary Moody Emerson Tolman George Privately printed by Edward Waldo Forbes 1929 cit pp5-6 . Middlesex County property records reveal simply the details of the transactions themselves, i.e., the parties and sums involved and the dates of these transactions. Additional research has not shed light on MME’s emotions about the sale at this time, nor do they confirm Tolman’s conclusions.

MME refers often in this Almanack to a property settlement of the Malden estate of her paternal grandmother, also named Mary Moody Emerson, which included a home and three acres, in which MME lived with her aunt and uncle Ruth and Nathan Sargent. In 1796, at age twenty-one, MME inherited a parcel of this property (accounts differ on the size of this portion) and then leased it to the Sargents for the duration of Ruth’s life, so that the couple continued to reside there with her. In December 1801, MME sold one-sixth of the property for one hundred and fifty dollars to Samuel Wait, who married Ruth Sargent the following month, Nathan Sargent having died in 1798. In 1807, Wait and MME sold the estate for three thousand dollars to Samuel Tufts, three-fifths of which sum ($1,800) were MME’s proceeds from the sale. An added component of this transaction is that Ruth’s sister, Rebecca Emerson Brintnall, whom MME likely refers to as “Mrs. B.” in this Almanack and who also lived in the Malden home, had for the consideration of one dollar in December 1801 purchased from MME and Silas Moody the rights to “the sixth part of all the real estate … (viz) the southwest chamber with a privilidge [sic] in the cellar, garret, yard, and pump, with full liberty of passing to and from said premises, also the east part or half of the garden front of the house as the fence now stands” Simmons_SL130 Selected Letters of Mary Moody Emerson Simmons, mSelected Letters Emerson Mary Moody Simmons Nancy Craig University of Georgia Press Athens 1993 cit pp4-5 ; Corey_History24 History of Malden, Massachusetts: 1633-1785 Corey, mHistory Corey Deloraine Pendre Malden 1899 cit pp648-49 ; Massachusetts_Registry61 Registry of Deeds, Middlesex County South mRegistry of Deeds State Massachusetts Office of the Secretary of cit book169 pp446-47 . MME’s reference to a twenty dollar gift to “Mrs. B.” may indicate a small payment to this aunt as consideration for her small share of the property settlement. Concord historian George Tolman characterizes MME as “having lost her temper” over the terms of the sale, “as if she had been defrauded,” an exaggeration of the mixed sentiments she expresses on the subject in this Almanack. In Tolman’s view, MME “got more of the purchase money than she was entitled to,” and he blames MME’s “utter ignorance of business methods” and “curiously distorted notions of the matter of finance and business” as the reasons for (in his view) her injured feelings Tolman_MME141 Mary Moody Emerson Tolman, mMary Moody Emerson Tolman George Privately printed by Edward Waldo Forbes 1929 cit pp5-6 . Middlesex County property records reveal simply the details of the transactions themselves, i.e., the parties and sums involved and the dates of these transactions. Additional research has not shed light on MME’s emotions about the sale at this time, nor do they confirm Tolman’s conclusions.

MME refers often in this Almanack to a property settlement of the Malden estate of her paternal grandmother, also named Mary Moody Emerson, which included a home and three acres, in which MME lived with her aunt and uncle Ruth and Nathan Sargent. In 1796, at age twenty-one, MME inherited a parcel of this property (accounts differ on the size of this portion) and then leased it to the Sargents for the duration of Ruth’s life, so that the couple continued to reside there with her. In December 1801, MME sold one-sixth of the property for one hundred and fifty dollars to Samuel Wait, who married Ruth Sargent the following month, Nathan Sargent having died in 1798. In 1807, Wait and MME sold the estate for three thousand dollars to Samuel Tufts, three-fifths of which sum ($1,800) were MME’s proceeds from the sale. An added component of this transaction is that Ruth’s sister, Rebecca Emerson Brintnall, whom MME likely refers to as “Mrs. B.” in this Almanack and who also lived in the Malden home, had for the consideration of one dollar in December 1801 purchased from MME and Silas Moody the rights to “the sixth part of all the real estate … (viz) the southwest chamber with a privilidge [sic] in the cellar, garret, yard, and pump, with full liberty of passing to and from said premises, also the east part or half of the garden front of the house as the fence now stands” Simmons_SL130 Selected Letters of Mary Moody Emerson Simmons, mSelected Letters Emerson Mary Moody Simmons Nancy Craig University of Georgia Press Athens 1993 cit pp4-5 ; Corey_History24 History of Malden, Massachusetts: 1633-1785 Corey, mHistory Corey Deloraine Pendre Malden 1899 cit pp648-49 ; Massachusetts_Registry61 Registry of Deeds, Middlesex County South mRegistry of Deeds State Massachusetts Office of the Secretary of cit book169 pp446-47 . MME’s reference to a twenty dollar gift to “Mrs. B.” may indicate a small payment to this aunt as consideration for her small share of the property settlement. Concord historian George Tolman characterizes MME as “having lost her temper” over the terms of the sale, “as if she had been defrauded,” an exaggeration of the mixed sentiments she expresses on the subject in this Almanack. In Tolman’s view, MME “got more of the purchase money than she was entitled to,” and he blames MME’s “utter ignorance of business methods” and “curiously distorted notions of the matter of finance and business” as the reasons for (in his view) her injured feelings Tolman_MME141 Mary Moody Emerson Tolman, mMary Moody Emerson Tolman George Privately printed by Edward Waldo Forbes 1929 cit pp5-6 . Middlesex County property records reveal simply the details of the transactions themselves, i.e., the parties and sums involved and the dates of these transactions. Additional research has not shed light on MME’s emotions about the sale at this time, nor do they confirm Tolman’s conclusions.

MME refers often in this Almanack to a property settlement of the Malden estate of her paternal grandmother, also named Mary Moody Emerson, which included a home and three acres, in which MME lived with her aunt and uncle Ruth and Nathan Sargent. In 1796, at age twenty-one, MME inherited a parcel of this property (accounts differ on the size of this portion) and then leased it to the Sargents for the duration of Ruth’s life, so that the couple continued to reside there with her. In December 1801, MME sold one-sixth of the property for one hundred and fifty dollars to Samuel Wait, who married Ruth Sargent the following month, Nathan Sargent having died in 1798. In 1807, Wait and MME sold the estate for three thousand dollars to Samuel Tufts, three-fifths of which sum ($1,800) were MME’s proceeds from the sale. An added component of this transaction is that Ruth’s sister, Rebecca Emerson Brintnall, whom MME likely refers to as “Mrs. B.” in this Almanack and who also lived in the Malden home, had for the consideration of one dollar in December 1801 purchased from MME and Silas Moody the rights to “the sixth part of all the real estate … (viz) the southwest chamber with a privilidge [sic] in the cellar, garret, yard, and pump, with full liberty of passing to and from said premises, also the east part or half of the garden front of the house as the fence now stands” Simmons_SL130 Selected Letters of Mary Moody Emerson Simmons, mSelected Letters Emerson Mary Moody Simmons Nancy Craig University of Georgia Press Athens 1993 cit pp4-5 ; Corey_History24 History of Malden, Massachusetts: 1633-1785 Corey, mHistory Corey Deloraine Pendre Malden 1899 cit pp648-49 ; Massachusetts_Registry61 Registry of Deeds, Middlesex County South mRegistry of Deeds State Massachusetts Office of the Secretary of cit book169 pp446-47 . MME’s reference to a twenty dollar gift to “Mrs. B.” may indicate a small payment to this aunt as consideration for her small share of the property settlement. Concord historian George Tolman characterizes MME as “having lost her temper” over the terms of the sale, “as if she had been defrauded,” an exaggeration of the mixed sentiments she expresses on the subject in this Almanack. In Tolman’s view, MME “got more of the purchase money than she was entitled to,” and he blames MME’s “utter ignorance of business methods” and “curiously distorted notions of the matter of finance and business” as the reasons for (in his view) her injured feelings Tolman_MME141 Mary Moody Emerson Tolman, mMary Moody Emerson Tolman George Privately printed by Edward Waldo Forbes 1929 cit pp5-6 . Middlesex County property records reveal simply the details of the transactions themselves, i.e., the parties and sums involved and the dates of these transactions. Additional research has not shed light on MME’s emotions about the sale at this time, nor do they confirm Tolman’s conclusions.

MME clearly writes “tho” (or “tho’”) and “roughly” as two separate words, but since the word(s) can, in the context of this Almanack passage, be sensibly read as “though roughly” or “thoroughly,” the editors provide both options.

MME may allude to Hebrews 8:1: “Now of the things which we have spoken this is the sum: We have such an high priest, who is set on the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in the heavens.”

MME likely refers to Alexander Pope’s Moral Essays, which contains four ethical poems. Sir Balaam appears in “Epistle III,” in a poem that describes “the fate of the Profuse and the Covetous” (31). The last line of the poem is “And sad Sir Balaam curses God and dies” (46). Pope’s satire focuses on the biblical prophet Balaam who as recounted in Numbers 22-24, once obedient to God, becomes tempted by money to curse God Pope_Epistle_III111 Epistle III. To Allen, Lord Bathurst., in Moral Essays, in Four Epistles to Several Persons Pope Alexander Bowles William Lisle Works of Alexander Pope, Esq., in Verse and Prose. . . Pope, aEpistle III page267-318 J. Johnson London 1806 10 vols. vol3 pp267318267–318 cit .

In 1728, Alexander Pope published anonymously his Dunciad, a mock heroic satire denouncing political and literary dullness. As reflected in earlier Almanacks, MME continues in this fascicle to enjoy reading Robert Robinson’s sermons.

Philosophical skepticism traditionally withholds judgments such as religious belief. Throughout her Almanacks, MME argues with the theories of noted skeptic David Hume. However, MME may here regard as “sceptics” Rationalists such as René Descartes, who posit both their own and God’s existence through rational arguments, thereby avoiding the need for faith. Hebrews 12:9 refers to “the Father of spirits.” In declaring God’s and her own existence, MME may paraphrase Descartes’s assertion of religious belief based on the reasoning that “because I that have this Idea do my self Exist; I do so clearly conclude that God also Exists, and that on him my Being depends each Minute” Descartes_Meditations28 Six Metaphysical Meditations; Wherein it Is Proved that There Is a God. . . Descartes, mMeditations Descartes René translator Molyneux William Benj. Tooke London 1680 cit pp56 . MME further claims to be “indifferent” to the argument between the Rationalists and later schools of philosophy regarding whether or not the material world is as it seems to the human observer. Descartes holds that the physical world does exist apart from human ability to know or understand it: “We must conclude that there are Corporeal Beings”; and, “For if we suppose any thing in the Idea, which was not in its cause, it must of necessity have this from nothing; but (tho it be a most Imperfect manner of existing, by which the thing is objectively in the Intellect by an Idea, yet) it is not altogether nothing, and therefore cannot proceed from nothing Descartes_Meditations28 Six Metaphysical Meditations; Wherein it Is Proved that There Is a God. . . Descartes, mMeditations Descartes René translator Molyneux William Benj. Tooke London 1680 cit pp96, 38 . In contrast, philosophers such as George Berkeley maintain that humans can achieve no certainty about the physical world: “All things that exist, exist only in the mind, that is, they are purely notional. … The only thing whose existence we deny, is that which philosophers call matter or corporeal substance” Berkeley_Principles5 Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge Berkeley, mPrinciples Berkeley George Dancy Jonathan Oxford University Press New York 1998 cit pp114 .

MME may allude to Psalms 71:3: “Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.”

As evidenced in her correspondence and the Almanacks, martyrdom was an important concept to MME throughout her life and one that reflects her Puritan heritage. Several decades after this Almanack was written, she alludes to “the splendid martyrs to great virtues” in a letter to Lidian Emerson and to the “martyrs of virtue” in another letter to her friend Ann Gage. Letters penned more than twenty years earlier to Ralph Waldo Emerson and Elizabeth Hoar reflect similar phrasing as MME continues to align “virtue” with “martyrs” MMEtoAG_c184770 Mary Moody Emerson to Ann Brewer Sargent Gage, 27 October 1816 Emerson Mary Moody Emerson to Gage, ac. 1847 cit ppc. 1847 Simmons_SL130 Selected Letters of Mary Moody Emerson Simmons, mSelected Letters Emerson Mary Moody Simmons Nancy Craig University of Georgia Press Athens 1993 cit pp484, 183, 373 . Moreover, many religious and literary books and Christian hymns with which MME was likely familiar include the phrase “martyrs to virtue.” Like other devout New Englanders, MME had been educated in the history of Christian martyrs, who in addition to symbolizing “a vision of the true church,” also represented “the associated virtues of cheerfulness, patience, and fortitude” Weimer_Martyrs_Mirror149 Martyrs' Mirror: Persecution and Holiness in Early New England Weimer, mMartyrs' Mirror Weimer Adrian Chastain Oxford University Press New York 2011 cit pp3 . At the time she was writing this Almanack, MME may have especially been thinking of martyrs, since a new edition of John Foxe’s Acts and Monuments of These Latter and Perilous Days, popularly known as The Book of Martyrs (1563), had been published in London in 1807. The common theological “ransom” as “sacrifice” appears in numerous biblical verses, such as Matthew 20:28: “Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.”

In the context of her continued frustration with relatives over her property inheritance in this Almanack, MME may allude to Acts 10:1-4: “There was a certain man in Caesarea called Cornelius, a centurion of the band called the Italian band, A devout man, and one that feared God with all his house, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God alway. He saw in a vision evidently about the ninth hour of the day an angel of God coming in to him, and saying unto him, Cornelius. And when he looked on him, he was afraid, and said, What is it, Lord? And he said unto him, Thy prayers and thine alms are come up for a memorial before God.”

Annotation still in progress.

MME may refer to Jean Jacques Rousseau’s Julie; or the New Eloise, published in English in 1761, or to Alexander Pope’s Eloisa to Abelard, published in 1717.

MME may refer to Jean Jacques Rousseau’s Julie; or the New Eloise, published in English in 1761, or to Alexander Pope’s Eloisa to Abelard, published in 1717.

Annotation still in progress.

Although some have speculated that MME had at some time received a marriage proposal from Charlestown, Massachusetts lawyer and author William Austin, he had married Charlotte Williams on 17 June 1806 and therefore could not be the suitor implied in this Almanack reference Cole_MME21 Mary Moody Emerson and the Origins of Transcendentalism Cole, mMary Moody Emerson Cole Phyllis Oxford University Press New York 1998 cit pp101 .

In assessing the Calvinist doctrine of election, MME seems to take the position that salvation is not simply arbitrary, but that God has established laws by which all creatures—angels as well as humans—are governed. By “glowing Seraph,” MME may allude to Isaiah 6:6-7: “Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs off the altar: And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin is purged.” MME may also have been aware that the Hebrew verb form of the word “seraphim” meant “to burn.”

Although the editors speculate that this person may be one of the men identified here, it is also possible that MME refers to a different Esquire Green, who is as yet unidentified.

Written in center of line, likely in non-authorial hand.

MME went to Newburyport, Massachusetts at this time to nurse her sister, Hannah Emerson Farnham, who died from tuberculosis at age 36 on March 27, 1807. As Phyllis Cole has described, MME and her half sister Sarah Ripley were Hannah’s two main caretakers. MME’s letter of March 4, 1807 to Ruth Haskins Emerson echoes this same language as she pleads, “Your sympathy and prayers I have for this scene of sickness and misfortune to this family”  Cole_MME21 Mary Moody Emerson and the Origins of Transcendentalism Cole, mMary Moody Emerson Cole Phyllis Oxford University Press New York 1998 cit pp119 , Simmons_SL130 Selected Letters of Mary Moody Emerson Simmons, mSelected Letters Emerson Mary Moody Simmons Nancy Craig University of Georgia Press Athens 1993 cit pp38 . Daniel Appleton White’s correspondence confirms his recent visit with MME in Malden, who then accompanied him from Malden to Newburyport; en route, due to inclement weather, the two lodged overnight in Beverly  Dwight_Memorials30 Memorials of Mary Wilder White: A Century Ago in New England Dwight, mMemorials Dwight Elizabeth Amelia Tileston Mary Wilder Everett Press Company Boston 1903 cit pp274-75 .

MME is quoting Edward Young in The Complaint: “Worth, conscious worth! should absolutely reign; / And other joys ask leave for their approach”  Young_Complaint154 The Complaint. Or, Night thoughts on Life, Death, and Immortality. . . Young, mComplaint Young Edward O. Penniman Troy, NY 1805 cit pp188

MME alludes to Matthew 14:25-31: “And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?”

This mark is not clearly a close parenthesis, nor is there an open parenthesis on a preceding line on this page; but it does not seem to be functioning as any other sensible mark of punctuation or text.

MME may allude to Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

MME may allude to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, where Paul, speaking of God, explains: “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” MME may also allude to 2 Corinthians 11:17-18 and 22-30: “That which I speak, I speak it not after the Lord, but as it were foolishly, in this confidence of boasting. Seeing that many glory after the flesh, I will glory also. …Are they Hebrews? so am I. Are they Israelites? so am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? so am I. Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not? If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities.”

MME may allude to John 5:44: “How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another, and seek not the honour that cometh from God only?”

In the context of this self-critique, MME may allude to 3 John 1:8: “We therefore ought to receive such, that we might be fellowhelpers to the truth,” or to Romans 15:1: “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”

As her discussion of the doctrine of election following this underlined passage may imply, MME likely refers to Romans 8:30, which in the King James version uses the word instead of the very common New Testament word : “Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.”

Although no records indicate an official holiday or a fast day at this time, MME may refer to April 19 as a day long commemorated in New England as the anniversary of the Battles of Lexington and Concord in 1775, which are regarded as the first military engagements of the American Revolution. Late in the nineteenth century, April 19 was officially designated “Patriot’s Day” and has since that time been an official holiday in Massachusetts ( Purcell_Sealed116 Sealed with Blood: War, Sacrifice, and Memory in America Purcell, mSealed Purcell Sarah J. U of Pennsylvania P Philadelphia 2002 cit pp40-41 ; NA_General_Laws91 General Laws 188th General Court of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts aGeneral Laws cit ).

MME alludes to Luke 12:35-36: “Let your loins be girded about, and your lights burning; And ye yourselves like unto men that wait for their lord, when he will return from the wedding; that when he cometh and knocketh, they may open unto him immediately.” She may also allude to the parable of the wise and foolish virgins in Matthew 25:1-12: “Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out. But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves. And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut. Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us. But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.”

“1807” is written in darker ink than rest of page, and “ennui” is written in pencil. Both are possibly in non-authorial hand.

Based on MME’s comments about having “inserted some pages” from the previous days into this Almanack after her return to Malden from Newburyport, as well as darker ink beginning on this line of the manuscript page, the editors surmise that this page includes entries for 11 February, followed by 24 and 25 April, and early May 1807. MME had returned from Newburyport on 11 April and apparently resumed writing on this Almanack page, where she had left off on 14 February prior to her departure.

MME asserts divine omnipresence with a phrase commonly used in Christian hymns and sermons and derived from many biblical verses, including Psalms 139-7:10: “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”

MME asserts divine omnipresence with a phrase commonly used in Christian hymns and sermons and derived from many biblical verses, including Psalms 139-7:10: “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”

MME has come to Boston to be present at the death of her seven-year-old nephew John Clarke Emerson, son of her brother William and his wife, Ruth Haskins Emerson, who died of tuberculosis on 26 April 1807.

MME originally wrote “tarri” at the end of this line and neglected to complete the word on the next line. The manuscript reflects an interlined “tarried” here, with a caret for position, written in darker ink than the rest of the page, indicating her later correction of this partial word.

From [“Propositio]n . . . proceeds,” these lines are written upside down from the rest of the page.

Annotation still in progress.

MME quotes from Robert Robinson’s essay “The Scripture A Good Book, written by Divine Inspiration,” published as part of Seventeen Discourses on Several Texts of Scripture. Citing John 14:23, Robinson argues, “If a man love me, he will keep my words. He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me.” Glossing this verse, he adds, “The other is the affecting manner in which he connects together love and obedience: If ye love me, keep my commandments. At the sound of this word , the Christian starts; all the tenderness and gratitude of his soul move to meet his duty; he conceives a horror for disobedience, because it make his love suspected; he turns all his attention to render his christian duties just, complete, beautiful, and strongly expressive of the inward esteem from which they flow; and he endeavours to give his morality a refinement and delicacy suited to the nature of that grand and noble virtue, from which it proceeds” Robinson_Scripture120 The Scripture A Good Book, written by Divine Inspiration Robinson Robert Seventeen Discourses on Several Texts of Scripture; Addressed to Christian Assemblies, in Villages Near Cambridge. To Which Are Added, Six Morning Exercises Robinson, aScripture page59-85 Vernor and Hood Harlow 1805 pp598559–85 cit pp76 .

This line is indented for a new paragraph.

This line is indented for a new paragraph.